happyrobot

Super PACs: 22 Billionaires Running the Show

:(
- link: America's Biggest Super PAC Donors - The Colbert Report - 2012-02-02 - Video Clip | Comedy Central

- posted: rich - 2/4/2012 11:41:30 AM
- perma-link

Here, Listen to My Underpants

the robot's handler will allow you to plug a pair of headphones into its metallic underpants and listen as it tells your fortune.
- link: 'Here, Listen to My Underpants': The Robot Psychics of India | Discoblog | Discover Magazine

- posted: rich - 2/4/2012 11:09:36 AM
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Study links low intelligence with right-wing beliefs: Ha-Hah!

data from a U.S. study also showed those with poor abstract-reasoning skills were more likely to have anti-homosexual prejudice, partially linked to authoritarian attitudes.
- link: Study links low intelligence with right-wing beliefs - The Globe and Mail

- posted: rich - 2/4/2012 11:08:53 AM
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Frustrating Little Arms

- link: T-Rex Trying..., T-Rex Trying To Paint His House #TRexTrying

- posted: rich - 2/4/2012 8:27:42 AM
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Newt Gingrich: Idiot

Populist everyman Gingrich today he told a crowd of real Americans in Las Vegas that these "elites" in Manhattan who live in high rises and "ride the subway" are killing this proud nation.
- link: Newt Gingrich: If You Ride The Subway, You're An Elitist : Gothamist

- posted: rich - 2/3/2012 8:36:04 PM
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Good Doggie

Wonder Dogs: 4 Paws for Ability, an agency in Xenia, Ohio, trains service dogs that will live with children who have disabilities.
- link: Wonder Dog - NYTimes.com

- posted: rich - 2/3/2012 6:57:40 AM
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Tell me a bit more about your underwear

Why didn't I have this when I was in France?!
- link: Flirting in French

- posted: rich - 2/3/2012 6:55:01 AM
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The American Taliban

Ah, some uplifting words from our far right friends.
- link: The American Taliban

- posted: rich - 2/3/2012 6:15:54 AM
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Robot Journal: Robot Day: Headed Home

High
If things are going as planned (and if you are reading this on February 3rd) I should be nestled in a comfy plane seat coming back from a trip to the Cognac region in France.
I was traveling this week so haven’t had a chance to do much fun stuff for ROBOT DAY 2012.

1999
This website is pretty dang old. Here’s a fun chart to show you when other “popular” websites were founded.

Happy Birthday Robot!
I believe in your magic!

Kitten!
Here's a photo of our kitten. Sunny day.

Take Back Our Neighborhood!

Young, upwardly mobile professionals may seem to be pleasant tenants who bring in reliable income, but they also introduce a very different way of life: new nightclubs and bars, sun tanning on rooftops, bike lanes and an increasing amount of immodesty on our streets.

Everything changes! Nothing stays the same!
Waaaaaah.
- link: COLLive.com - Take Back Our Neighborhood

- posted: rich - 2/2/2012 8:23:48 AM
- perma-link

Religions - Mormon: Joseph Smith

Let us review.
- link: BBC - Religions - Mormon: Joseph Smith

- posted: rich - 2/1/2012 6:57:37 AM
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Runtime Error: New Friends

Right, so I'm totally not opposed to posting cat photos just to get a few more web hits :)

Meet Winston

I was fortunate enough to "cat-sit" for a friend yesterday and spend some quality time with Rita and Winston (pictured above.) I was warned that I might not see them as they are skittish around strangers (and who is more strange than yours truly?). Rita greeted me at the door, but Winston took a good 20 minutes to find, hidden towards the back of the underside of the bed.

As a registered cat whisperer, once I caught sight of those yellow eyes peering out from the dark, I knew just what to do. I found a small nook near where he was hiding and slipped a "treat" to him, just out of reach. It peaked his interest and after a few more strategic drops he was out in the open and we became quick best-friends.

What does this have to do with the Boston Marathon?

My training plan is a 3 (three) day per week running program with an additional 2 (two) days of cross training. It's called the FiRST program and you can find more information about it here: http://www2.furman.edu/sites/first/Pages/FirstTrainingPrograms.aspx

If it interests you, I highly recommend the book "Runs Less, Run Faster" as it has training plans for 5 and 10ks as well as half and full marathons. The charts of paces and race time equivalents are invaluable.

Right! So, running only 3 (three) times a week is really great for my lifestyle which I hope will include many more days of visiting other peoples kitties, thinking about the David Tyree catch and having business meetings with my wife.

It also keeps me from getting bored of running. Having days off lets me build up a day of looking forward to putting myself on the treadmill again, or getting outside for a quick 18M. It also encourages my first athletic love, all things bicycle. Bicycling indoors at blistering speeds while watching crappy race footage just makes me all tingly inside (I said the same thing about the recently announced Spice Girls reunion this morning.)

And then 2 (two) days of rest per week. Which I will spend with my own kitties, by the way.

Internet forums are full of people bashing the FirST program, saying that the only way to get better at running is to run MORE and do everything else less. But the program has gotten me through 3 half marathons and many 5 and 10ks injury free with continued improvement in my performance.

If it can get me across the line on Boylston Street in April in any amount of time at all then I'd call that a success.

OH BY THE WAY . . .

I'm likely to say this at least once a week, but it has to be done. The only reason I am fortunate enough to even HAVE an official Boston Marathon number is thanks to a great charity in Boston called AccesSportAmerica. Click the link to see what they are all about . . .AND . . . go here
clicky-this-linky
www.crowdrise.com/crosol
and make a donation of ANY amount to help me reach my aggressive fundraising goal . . . and of course, help out the very great people of AccesSportAmerica

tx

Nightlife in Cognac

Ha.
Who am I kidding. There is no nightlife in Cognac.
- link: Nightlife in Cognac (France), going out

- posted: rich - 1/31/2012 6:58:59 AM
- perma-link

Oh, Jeb

Yet on the eve of the Florida primary, he has been unable to land the biggest catch of all: Jeb Bush.
- link: Jeb Bush Remains Silent on Endorsement - NYTimes.com

- posted: rich - 1/31/2012 6:57:09 AM
- perma-link

Bo rides in the car

- link: David Axelrod Tweets Photo Of President Obama's Dog Inside Car In Veiled Jab At Romney | Mediaite

- posted: rich - 1/31/2012 6:44:15 AM
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Earth. Pretty.

- link: The High-Def Earth Photo Wasn't Shot with a Camera | Motherboard

- posted: rich - 1/31/2012 2:03:47 AM
- perma-link

Pony: Five Years Old

Dear Gabriel,

More than five years ago, I wrote in a post: "Not too long form now, I will have a boy who is five.” And here we are.

Five years ago exactly, we were home form the hospital, lying in bed, trying to figure each other out. There was nothing else in the world more beautiful than being with you, right there, in that bed, surrounded by people we love.

How are you at 5? You love to build. The first thing you do when you get to daycare is run to the carpet and start building ‘ships’ with your friends with those plastic modular connectors.

And I don’t want to project, but I think you might be having your first crushes. Remind me to tell you about the little girl at your birthday party you tried to impress with your skating pratfalls. Should the time come when you are really interested in girls, let’s hope you’ve debunked the “little girls don’t poop” idea you got in your head this year.

You are lucky to have your dad’s effortless sporto gene. You leap right in there with the big kids with any sport.. The best part? You really like to play hard, and you love it if you win, but you shrug it off with a smile if you lose. I love that. It’s so hard to be a good sport at 5.

Suddenly, this month you are reading - sounding out words with a mixture of skill and guesswork. Where did that come from? You’re not even in Senior Kindergarten yet. Is this supposed to be happening now?

Your vocabulary is massive - you just genuinely like to play with language, testing new words and phrasing out where no other words will fit (you also have a fake language that sounds distinctly like Elvish from Lord of the Rings. But I digress).

You remember song lyrics, poetry. We can sit in the car for half an hour going over a really pretty poem, and you will repeat it back to me perfectly and I try not to get too excited about that because I don’t want to ruin the fun (and be that obnoxious parent who teaches pre-schooler Shakespeare sonnets). You love the Bone comic books and Roald Dahl novels. I can’t wait to curl up with you on the sofa, each of us reading our own book. Is that a weird fantasy? The whole family in one room reading together?

You are an awesome artist with an eccentric style – you often start drawing feet first, and connect everything later. It’s wild. And beautiful.

You want to know magic tricks that will astound people. You keep saying “close your eyes” so that you can pull off some “magic trick” when our eyes are finally open. Usually you don’t even know what that trick will be before you begin. Truthfully, it’s getting tedious. There, I said it. By the time you read this, I hope you’ll have a sense of humour about it. Enough with asking us to close our eyes all the time!

You climbed into the bath with me the other morning. “This is nice” you said, as you stretched out beside me and we listened to music. I still wrap you in a towel after your bath and sing you a song. It’s less your special song, these days, but more “Aeoroplane Over the Sea” or “Buckets of Rain”..

Little Red Wagon
Little Red Bike
I ain’t no monkey, but I know what I like.

When grandma was sick last year everything changed in our home. It must have been really hard for you to know what to do, how to feel. I ask you about it sometimes, but despite all your amazing words, it’s hard to find the right ones to assign to feelings.That doesn't change as you get older. It's still hard to describe feelings.

At grandma’s funeral, you wordlessly came up to me and covered me with kisses after I gave the eulogy. And the other day, on the chalkboard, “I drew you these beautiful flowers so that you could look at them when you feel sad about grandma”.

There are not words to describe what it is to have you in my life, how much easier, real-er, and happier everything is. The other day you were playing with the ‘I love you up to the sky’ game and you said, “I love you so much that it’s nothing.”

I worry, sometimes, that in painting this portrait of near-perfection both here and in real life, that maybe there is too much praise, too much love. That you will get the dreaded only child syndrome, and never be able to take criticism. But for now, I’m hedging my bets on the idea that knowing you are smart, fun, and so ridiculously cherished and loved will make you feel secure, confident, generous and filled with love.

1 - 2– 3 - 4

A Classier Time

The aftermath of a party at my pal Julia's parents' place in the 70s
- link: Sorry I Missed Your Party: A Classier Time

- posted: rich - 1/30/2012 7:54:57 AM
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Oregon has a wolf

On Dec. 28, a 2 1/2 -year-old gray wolf crossed the state line from Oregon, becoming the first of his species to run wild here in 88 years.
- link: Wildlife Activists Follow Lone Wolf's Trek Into California - NYTimes.com

- posted: rich - 1/30/2012 7:04:59 AM
- perma-link

Cootie Girl: 2012 update

Hello Robots!

Wanted to update you on the diet progress so far I have lost 40 lbs and I feel great!

I also have a new inspiration have you seen Alison Moyet these days ???? she looks AMAZING

Runtime Error: Floating holiday

Happy floating holiday!

I decided to take this past Friday off and use a my floating holiday.

Turns out it was National Chocolate Cake day. I hate chocolate cake and the prospect of being coerced into eating it at work on Friday was enough to drive me batty. I had missed the opportunity to take off Penguin Awareness Day so I figured this was the next best bet (I hope my floating holiday time will reset in time for Giraffe Awareness day, which doesn't currently exist, but a boy can dream.)

My wife and I also had some "business" to attend to that afternoon.

So I thought I'd mix things up and do my treadmill workout in the morning. Typically I treadmill after work, but prefer to do my outdoor running in the morning. I always feel sluggish on the mill in the morning and Friday was no different. My small brain tells me its because i have not yet had a full day of food and moving around at a moderate speed to loosen me up. Outdoors, you set a natural rhythm for warming up and getting into the real routine, but on the mill you are forcing yourself to start at a predetermined pace, even if it's slow, and is not connecting with your natural tempo.

Not complaining, it was a good hard workout.

The plan called for a 6 (six) mile tempo run, with the middle tempo portion at about 50 (fifty) seconds faster per mile than my anticipated Marathon pace and close to what I'd run in a 10k.

I've been nervous about the Newton Hills (and REALLY need to get out and run them before April) and found a routine online to simulate them indoors. You can find this program here: http://blog.thestepsfoundation.org/2010/12/newton-hills-simulation-run/

It's definitely worth checking out.

If you click the link, though, you'll see I went about it all wrong. I should not have tried to shoehorn this longer run into my much shorter . . . and faster . . . workout. After doing a third of a mile, at a blistering pace (for me :) ), with the treadmill incline set to 6 (six) I thought I was going to vomit. This is how they test you lactate threshold and VO2 max, right? Not what is expected from the mid-meek tempo run. So, after that I brought it down to 1 (one) for the rest of my time and struggled through the rest of the run, doing it the way my plan had suggested.

Lesson of the day, DONT TRY ANYTHING NEW! It will get you nowhere. I've had luck training with this particular method for 5 and 10ks and for 3 (three) half-marathons. I need to stick to it by the book for this one too. And I will reach my goal.

I will try simulation again, maybe on an "off-day" . . . and do it at a reasonable pace.

What I Want For My Birthday

Happy birthday to Eric(s).
Let's make his birthday wish come true.
- link: def shepherd: What I Want For My Birthday

- posted: rich - 1/29/2012 7:08:39 AM
- perma-link

Telling God Goodbye

At this point I fully discovered and finally accepted so many things that never really made sense; the numerous contradictions and discrepancies found in the bible, the incongruous character of god as revealed in scripture, the degradation of women, the support of slavery, the fallacy of answered prayer, the problem of suffering, the denial of self, the dismissal of scientific evidence and in general the harmful teachings of religions.
- link: 'Adam' Telling God Goodbye | The Agnostic Pastor

- posted: rich - 1/29/2012 3:12:42 AM
- perma-link

The Japanese soldier who held out in Guam

It's exactly 40 years since a Japanese soldier was found in the jungles of Guam, having survived there for nearly three decades after the end of World War II. He was given a hero's welcome on his return to Japan - but never quite felt at home in modern society.
- link: BBC News - Shoichi Yokoi, the Japanese soldier who held out in Guam

- posted: rich - 1/26/2012 1:04:49 PM
- perma-link

Toronto Space Teens!

- link: Lego man sent to space by Toronto teens - Toronto - CBC News

- posted: rich - 1/26/2012 7:53:01 AM
- perma-link

Runtime Error: Hard 20 (twenty)

I should have written after my run on Sunday but I was kind of wrecked. Mostly due to my first ever 20 mile run. My weekly speed workouts always kick my ass and I really look forward to my weekend long runs to clear the head from a stressful work week but also because the long slow miles have come fairly easy to me. I have no speed, but I feel (or have felt) that my endurance has been building at an appropriate pace for my training.

But Sunday was rough.

Saturday saw snow and we stayed cooped up in the apartment all day waiting for not sure what exactly. I should have put in at least a little time on the bike indoors just to loosen up and dump some built up energy.

Sunday was gorgeous! And I made out for my first ever 20 mile run. I have to thank the Boston, Cambridge, Watertown and Newton parks departments. The running/cycling path that runs along both sides of the Charles for countless miles was plowed the entire way. It was still a bit sloppy (i'll get to that) but it was so nice to see that they clean up for all of us that try and take advantage of the path all year long.

A quarter of the way through the run, a third of the way through, half way through, I think . . . this is a breeze. Run at the right pace and I can do this all day long. Why not 26 miles, or 30 o 50? It's psychological! Get through mentally and I got this, no problem.

But I hit a wall. The first time in a looooong time. Around mile 17 it took all my strength, both mentally and physically to get through that last 3 . . . er . . . 2.76 miles.

I try and not make too many excuses. (It was all that slop and snow!!11!1!) Running and cycling blogs and forums across the internet are full of excuses. Too many hills, too much headwind, too much getting over a chest cold, whatever. I'm not sure why it was so rough for me so I will look to myself and see where I could make some positive changes. Go out slower? Eat/drink more before or during the run?

This weekend drops back down to 18, and as usual I still look forward to the long run. This week, I got this.

Tiny Wine Blog: Let's open that bottle of bubbly with a knife

You. Saber.
Opening a bottle of Champagne with your hands is fine and all, but wouldn’t you rather open it with a knife or sword? I know I do.

I’ve been doing a lot of presentations and chats and dinners involving Champagne and I try to always work in sabering. It’s the opening of a bottle of Champagne or sparkling wine by popping the top of the bottle with a sword or knife or other hard object. What I think everyone is surprised when they do it for the first time is how dang easy it is.
Your goal this year should be to saber a bottle of bubbly.
Or invite me over and we’ll do it together.

Here’s my process…

1. You can do this with any sparkling wine, assuming it has enough pressure in the bottle. Champagne. California sparkling. Cava.
2. Make sure it’s chilled.
3. If you have a sword, that’s great. I’ve been using a standard dinner knife and that works good as well.
4. Take off the foil on the neck of the bottle
5. Now, some people take the cage off the bottle and some leave it on. Personally, I take the cage off as it gets in the way.
6. Every bottle will have a vertical seam on it. Find that seam. I think of that as the ‘runway’ for your knife. This is the path your knife will follow.
7. Hold the bottle at a 45 degree angle pointing away from people, animals, or breakable items.
8. Note that you may spray some wine doing this, so don’t do it on mom’s nice new rug.

Now we are ready to saber this bottle. Note that you are not cutting the top off with the knife – hence the sharpness of the knife is irrelevant. With most knives you are using the back of the knife anyway. You are basically hitting the ring on the neck of the bottle with a blunt object. The pressure inside the bottle takes care of the rest.

9. Holding the bottle at the 45 degree angle, take your knife and smoothly slide it up the bottle and make contact with the neck. It does not take a lot of muscle or force to do this.
10. In theory the neck with intact cork will go flying away. Unless it doesn’t work and then just try it again. And again. Eventually it will pop.
11. Be careful of the top of the bottle. While it is a very clean cut, it can also be quite sharp.
12. You just opened a bottle with a knife. You kick ass! Let’s do another.

There are great tutorials and videos on how to do this. Here’s author Kathryn Borel showing you how (I liked her book).

Sabering in the Garden with Kathryn Borel Jr. from Kathryn Borel on Vimeo.

Oh, and check this: slow-mo sobering!

Runtime Error: World of Snowcraft

My training for this weekend calls for my first ever 20 mile run. I typically try to time my weekend long runs for Saturday so if something comes up or I am not feeling it I can postpone to Sunday.

The first snow of the winter has put me off till tomorrow.

This morning I had to drive Casper to the vet for his normal checkup and there were quite a few runners out on the streets. I was jealous and I know for certain they were judging me. Though most of them were wearing long-pants or tights instead of shorts. They are obviously not very committed.

I am really looking forward to getting out tomorrow (30 degrees and the path around the Charles will likely be plowed) as I am on a 3rd non-runing day in a row right now. My training schedule has me running 3 days a week (I'll reveal the program in a future post) with 2 days of cross training and 2 days of rest. I put in an hour on the stationary bike trainer Thursday evening but right now I feel a bit like a spring about to pop.

So I spent some of the afternoon running around Skyrim as opposed to running around Cambridge. I think there is more snow in Skyrim than there is here.

I'm so hardcore.

Sunshine Jen: Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture

Today is the 8th anniversary of sunshine jen. Yes, eight years ago today, I said hello to happyrobot for the first time.

I don’t know what eight years would be in internet years. Twenty-four perhaps? In LA years, it would be four years.

When I was planning my mega 8th anniversary celebration, I thought of looking back and picking some of my favorite sunshine jen pieces; however, that would be a lot of work, so instead, I decided to just throw a dance party.

Eight years ago this week, this was the number one song in the land:

And Kelly, because you got me into this, this is for you:

Runtime Error: My Very First Web-log!

Wow! My very first web-log. I am terribly excited about this, but please forgive me as I am unfamiliar with the protocol.

My name is Chris and I am training for my first Boston marathon.

It's kind of funny how we got here. Moved to Boston in very early 1999 and the concept of the Boston Marathon was foreign to me. As was any kind of personal athletic activity other than the occasional recreational mountain bike ride around the city streets of Cambridge, MA. I spent most of my High School years on bike, but traded it in for a dozen years of party snacks and selling my time and expertise to various local not-for-profit organizations.

That first year I was unemployed and my roomate at the time didn't get the Patriot's Day, Marathon Monday off from work (they hated freedom) so she called in sick and we dressed her up in a disguise (4 srious) and headed down to Boylston Street to catch the race.

It's safe to say that instantly, we were hooked.

Since then, roomate became wife, we both hold jobs that give us that sacred day in April off and I believe we've missed only 1 (one) marathon Monday as spectators in the past 12 (twelve) years. We've often called it "the best day of the year in Boston" and matured from using it as an excuse to party, outdoors, all day, on the first nicest day of the year, to gaining a deep respect for the sport itself, the history, and especially the elite athletes who finish half an hour . . . or four hours ahead of the rest of the field.

In 2009 my best friend in the whole world, "double-K", ran the marathon. It was the first human that i knew from real life that ran it. I was in awe. That spring I was so inspired by her, I joined the gym and started the couch-to-5k program.

3 (three) years, and a couple half-marathons, later and I am now in the midst of week 4 (four) of training for my first Boston Marathon.

In order to officially run in the 2012 Boston Marathon, I am raising money for an incredible organization, AccesSportAmerica.

The mission of AccesSportAmerica is to adapt sports that the most agile of athletetes find challenging and bring these sports to children and adults with disabilities. To know that my "hobby" of running can be used to help FUNd and bring awareness to this very important cause gives me even more strength and motivation to train to the best of my ability . . .even through the cold and snow of a Boston winter.

If you'd like to donate, you can do so here: http://www.crowdrise.com/crosol

I'll be giving you plenty of opportunities ;)

Okay, off to bed. Today was 6 miles on the treadmill at mid-tempo pace. Not too much of a problem .. . but I have my first ever 20 miler this weekend. Talk to you tomorrow.

Robot Journal: Then there was the dinner at Battersby

Saturday Nights are for Eating
It’s been a while since we’ve had a crazy eating evening. Mrs. Robot and I are both fans of Yelp (technically I think we are “Yelpers”) and when not using it to find tacos we are constantly shaking our fists at Peter D. who is a Brooklyn-Yelper and must eat out for every single meal and never go to the same place twice. We also seem to like the same places that he likes so our joke now is that instead of checking Yelp, we are checking Peter D.
“Did Peter D. like it?”

Smith Street
We live in the grand borough (“Borough es Grande!”) of Brooklyn in the “trendy” neighborhood of Cobble Gardens/Carroll Hill.
Holy crap. I’m so tired of Smith Street.
“Oh, you live on Smith Street? How fancy!” people might say.
This is one tired-ass street. Yes, there are some jewels.
The jewels:
Grocery. Saul. Ki Sushi. The pancakes at Café Luluc. Deviled eggs and cocktails at Clover Club. Jake Walk. Pâté and cheese at Stinky. Bar Tabac when it’s not loony crowded.

But for every jewel you have five half-assed no-style crap factories.

Ugh. Tired tired tired tired. As Chris Rock would say.

(amazing photo in that there is no food shown)

Battersby Brooklyn
Hello there. Who are you?
They opened in the old Patois space (awwww) back in October but that last part of the year for us was mad crazy and we totally missed that there was a new place in town. We were on the Yelpernet and the review popped up somehow with crazy high scores – including the coveted Peter D review.
Scooped again (although by about four months).

Saturday night (remember Saturday? It was like minus one hundred degrees celtigradeheit.) we trekked up to Battersby and put our name on the list. We then retired to Jake Walk for a lovely cocktail and some old cheese. For real, it really was lovely.
The charming host texted us that they had some seats at the bar after about 45 minutes so we hightailed it back. Let me say, I’m glad she chose to text us. Otherwise I would have had to go outside in the cold to answer the call. It also allowed me to reply with a cute emoticon thing.

Small space. Very small kitchen with three chefs who somehow weren’t running into each other and/or stabbing each other with knives. We opted for the tasting menu as we were having a hard time deciding. Good choice.
Ordered a bottle of an Alsace Riesling (interesting choice (to carry from Alsace)).

Tasting Menu
Luckily I recorded all of this on the popular SpaceBook website. This is what we had.

→Chicken liver mousse on toast. Mrs. Robot loves chicken liver.
→Duck Pâté. See, I like both those words quite a bit.
→Ricotta with an amazing focaccia (I tried to not “load up on bread” as mom would say).
→Kale. Endive. Anchovies. (way more awesome than I expected)
→Mushrooms. Poached eggs. Spinach. (awesomes awesomes)
→Trigger fish. Swiss chard. (fish excellent. broth spectacular.)
→Sauerkraut. Pork rib. Apples. (the saurkraut - holy moly. for real? how is that saurkraut so good?)
→Fennel. Lemon. Panna cotta
→Olive oil cake. (have mercy)

Sweet Jeebus have mercy
They are really turning out some excellent food here. My one take-away from the dinner was how delicious the various broths and liquid-y things were. We licked many of the plates clean.
Oh, snap. The olive oil cake. Not only was it olive oil cake and all moist and tasty, but it had amaretto in it. Crikey. I love me some boozed up cake.

All of this said, I’d rather you not come and visit this restaurant and make our waits super-long. You have nice restaurants in your neighborhood, right?

Photos
I didn’t really take photos. It was pretty dark in there and I was also having way too good of a time drinking wine and wooing my wife.
Here are some great pics of their dishes on the internets.

Runtime Error: hello robot people

very important and exciting blogging to come. right around the corner. it's already loaded up in the little box. just some tweaking to be done and then, bam, blogging.

Post-Modern Drunkard: Stu's Heart Monitor: Week 1

I've been wearing this heart monitor for a week now. It's the size and shape of an old Blackberry, which means that I am forced to wear it on my belt like a tech bubble day trader. But it's way less useful even than an old Blackberry. The display is very low resolution black text on a gray background. It doesn't show the temperature, or the time. There are no games. It doesn't even have Snake. Forget about playing Angry Birds--though, to be fair, I'd be a little wary at losing at a game on a device that's wired up to my heart.

What the device does is make incomprehensible noises and display inscrutable messages. I can tell that it's communicating with someone sometimes, because occasionally my computer speakers make that weird clicking noise you get when you put your cell too close to unshielded speakers. Occasionally the text on the heart monitor will change from "Monitoring" to *2 or *4, but none of the literature included with the device or available online will tell you what *whatever means. Frankly, I worry that my heart is running off of MS-DOS these days. I'm steeling myself for the day I look at the device and all it reads is "Abort, Retry, Fail?" or just "General Failure."

Two nights ago, I was drifting off when the heart monitor started making a piercing arrhythmic series of beeping noises. I woke up in a panic, my Fight, Flight or CTRL-ALT-DEL response running at a fever pitch, but by the time I got a light to see what was on the screen, it'd stopped, and had resumed displaying a gnomic "Monitoring." My heart was pounding like crazy, but that could have been anything from an incipient heart attack to sheer garden-variety sleep panic.

I can tell you that I'm a treat to sleep next to.

All in all, this heart monitor compares unfavorably to an iPhone.

Tiny Wine Blog: Santa brought me an Ah-So

Christmas Gifts
I’m just now climbing out from under the New Years/Christmas/Travel/Work Craziness. My lovely wife bought me a “Ah-So” wine opener for Christmas. She apparently had to battle people on EBAY for it because she wanted to get a cool retro one that was made in West Germany. Cool points. Bless her.

The ah-so is a clever littler wine opener that I wanted primarily because it makes opening up bottles with really old corks easier (sometimes those corks are so old and soft that the screw-part of the corkscrew will just go right through them). The ah-so works by going on the outside of the cork instead of going through the cork.

You just slide it in (ah yea) and the pull it out.
Oh, and another feature is that you can pull a cork and then replace fairly undedected. Sneaky.

There are a bunch of videos online on how to do this (it involves rocking). For instance, this video:

Post-Modern Drunkard: Totally Clipped To My Heart

Because my heart palpitations have been getting more frequent, but only at night, I saw my cardiologist on Monday. He had a collegue, an electrocardiologist, sit in on the meeting. Because the heart palpitations are infrequent, and tend to happen only at night, she recommended one of two options.

The first, which she brought up just as a possibility, was that I come into the hospital for tests. The test would consist of them artificially inducing the heart palpitations and studying them while they happen. She explained this was mostly done with people who have severe but infrequent palpitations where they think they're going to black out and die. The idea of coming into the hospital and voluntarily having severe palpitations induced, even under the watchful eye of a crash team, did not appeal to me.

The second option was to wear a heart monitor. Basically, it's a stripped down version of the Holter monitor that I'd worn before. Only two wires, which can be self-administered, and a small wireless device that I can wear on my belt which communicates and records any heart irregularities I might have to my doctors. So there's still a possibility of a tragic misunderstanding with someone who sees me trailing wires underneath my shirt, leading to to my death at the hands of overzealous NYPD (and won't that be an exciting graph for the doctors to see wirelessly transmitted to them), but it looks less like I'm trying to smuggle a tapedeck than the Holter did. Except instead of 24 hours, I'm to wear it 30 days.

As you can see, you attach the electrodes to the chest and side of your Oscar statue. Acting Awards are preferred, but in a pinch, you can substitute one of the technical awards instead. Absent either of those, you can slather Michael Chiklis in gold paint and attach it to him. Or, if you lack all that, you can attach it to yourself. Since I lack both Oscars and Chiklis, that's what I did.

If you strain really hard, I can kind of picture myself as wearing Darth Vader's chestplate. It's basically a Holter monitor, after all.

But it's hard...I'm only able to do it the same way that every roll of wrapping paper or umbrella automatically becomes a lightsaber. Which is to say, I recognize the absurdity of it all, even as I just try to get by.

Anyway, only 28 days left of wearing this thing.

Sunshine Jen: Ten Januaries

This is my tenth January in Los Angeles.

As I was walking in the sunshine recently, I realized that my reaction to this winter month has changed through the years. Below is my attempt to chart the progress of my reaction to ten Januaries.

1. My first January in LA! This is great! I’m in shorts! In January! How could I live somewhere with seasons? I’m never leaving. This is so great!

2. I’m so glad I’m not in snow. I can wear cute shoes. It gets cold at night, but it’s a warm cold.

3. It’s raining. It’s not supposed to rain. Where’s my umbrella? Do I own an umbrella?

4. Sun. Oh look, famous people. Whatever.

5. After traveling to somewhere with snow, I basked in the warm.

6. More rain, but I’ve got a hoodie. Brrr. Cold.

7. What month is it again?

8. Oh yeah.

9. I want a do-over.

10. Hot. January. Madness.

Robot Journal: Kitten discovers squirrels

SQUIRREL
For a while we had avoided putting birdseed out on our fire escape as the pigeons would visit from time to time and muck up the whole dove + squirrel + cardinal + tiny brown bird dynamic. Since this kitten has come along, we've realized that we need to think of ways to entertain her while we are out working. Making money. To support her cat habits.

We've begun pointing birdseed back out and I'm not sure who enjoys it more: the squirrels and birds *or* the kitten who just completely freaks out. They take up 100% of her energy and attention. Crazy chirpy noises. Tail whipping back and forth (and clearing off my bedside table).
Kitten loves Squirrel TV.

The way I see it: The Very Best Albums Released In 2011 (That I Heard, And Which Aligned With My Particular Musical Tastes)

Here goes. My favorite records of 2011...

1. M83 – Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming (Mute)
Remember 80's synth-pop? Remember the things you liked about it? Remember the things you didn't like about it? Well, M83 have managed to create a fully-realized double album of brilliant 80's-esque synth-pop that manages to stick with the things that we loved about 80's synth-pop: ethereal melodies, new-wavey wistfulness, and you can even dance to it. Now, imagine Peter Gabriel fronting that band. Extra points to M83 for such an ambitious record -- I have a soft spot for bands who take the album seriously in this age of a la carte downloads.

2. The War On Drugs – Slave Ambient (Secretly Canadian)
There's really no other way to describe The War On Drugs other than to say that they're like if Bob Dylan fronted Yo La Tengo. If you are going to try to sound like Bob Dylan when you sing, you had better be writing some kickass songs. The War On Drugs does that. This is art. It's rare to hear albums these days that deserve to be treated like a novel or a film. This is a record with a consistency, a sense of place, and a sustained emotional depth throughout. One or two more like this, and The War On Drugs will be my favorite band going.

3. Fucked Up – David Comes To Life (Matador)
A+ for ambition. Not only do Fucked up bring the riffs and the energy here. They are bringing a double-album. Not only a double-album, but a double concept album. Not only a double concept album, but a double concept album with an immersive supplemental concept compilation (not included) of 'hits' by fictional rock bands (Fucked Up trying on different styles) the titular character grew up with. Add to that a handful of brilliant, cinematic videos that elevate the material to 'Quadrophenia' /'The Wall' levels of artistry, and you have one of the very best records of the year. Plus they put on one of the best live shows going.

4. Elbow – Build A Rocket, Boys! (Downtown/Cooperative)
Another band that is kinda shunned by the indie rock crowd for being really good musicians and dressing nicely. That's ok, though. I think Elbow strives for something bigger. Like The National, they are a class act doing very deliberate and thoughtful material that is more conducive to a theater (or an arena) than a rock club. If you are a fan of well-crafted, cerebral, artistic rock music with powerful melodies, this is for you. They have a back catalog that is totally up to snuff, as well.

5. Wye Oak – Civilian (Merge)
What can you say about Wye Oak? They're another act that's kind of difficult to describe to the uninitiated, other than to say, 'Oh, you'll really like them, they're great.' They're a duo. They are kind of folky. But they also have this swirly, noisy, dreamy thing going on. And Jenn Wasner has one of the most interesting voices you're likely to hear -- somewhat androgynous, wistful, seductive, and haunting. She can slice right through you and make your heart explode. This is a gorgeous record -- fully realized, ambitious, and wholly unique. Holy unique.

6. White Denim – D (Downtown)
As a musician, I never really was fond of comparisons, but as a fan of music, I can't help myself (have you noticed?). White Denim, if you will, sounds like the love child of The Grateful Dead, Yes, and Radiohead. Certainly not quite the sum of those parts (and yes, I realize that many of you are already turned off), but something very interesting, nonetheless. I am not sure why this record didn't get more attention this year. I believe it may be that many indie-rockers were resistant to the super-polished musicianship, and many heavy rock/alternative fans were turned off by their hippie-ishness. Stop over-analyzing your music and just listen to it. This record, unlike so many released this year, has the ability to surprise at every turn. You recognize shards of music history here and there. Sometimes you're sure they're ripping off something, but you can't quite put your finger on it. Who really cares? It sounds good.

7. Tom Waits – Bad As Me (Anti-)
What is there to say, really? This is quite simply Waits at his best. It's his first studio album in seven years, and his best since 'Mule Variations.' It's got everything: rockers, ballads, a seasonal tune ('New Year's Eve), and one of the best anti-war songs ever ('Hell Broke Luce'). Another solid entry in a solid discography by a dude who has yet to jump the shark.

8. Kurt Vile – Smoke Rings For My Halo (Matador)
Not sure what happened here. Kurt Vile really came into his own. I always love when a label (it's usually Matador or Merge) has the prescience to sign an act just before they start taking giant steps. Kurt Vile was on my radar. I kind of liked his stuff okay, I guess. Then he dropped this record and floored me. Gently, sure. But still.

9. Megafaun – S/T (Hometapes)
Formed from the ashes of DeYarmond Edison (which featured Justin Vernon aka Bon Iver), Megafaun seem to be overshadowed by their former bandmate. However, I have grown to like Megafaun more than I like Bon Iver. Whereas I sometimes find myself wanting to cut myself when I listen to Bon Iver, Megafaun's herky-jerky folk-rock tends to give me warm fuzzies. You know when you wake up and try to make a fist, but you can't? That's kind of how Megafaun sounds.

10. Lucinda Williams – Blessed (Lost Highway)
Hands down the best thing she has done since 'Car Wheels.' This is the most that she has sounded like a member of a band since then, and the songs have an urgency and a visceral feel that has been missing from some of her more recent recordings. If you loved 'Car Wheels,' but you have gotten off the Lucinda Williams train, you should probably get back on with this record.

11. …And You will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead – Tao Of The Dead (Superball Music)
Unfortunately there aren't enough bands who put out this kind of stuff. I have a thing for smart, complex, artistic, noise-rock bands that are also very much interested in melody and hooks. Extra points if they can pull it off without pretentiousness or cringe-inducing lyrics. The last two Trail of Dead records have secured them as one of the best going (alongside Parts & Labor). Solid.

12. Bill Callahan – Apocalypse (Drag City)
This guy is an overlooked treasure. Sure, he's somewhat of a legend in indie-rock circles, but seriously, he's like our Leonard Cohen or Nick Drake. Slightly more prolific, less consistent in style, but certainly as unique. While both of those guys are not American, Callahan seems to exude Americanness. A little bit Kerouac, a little bit Faulkner, a little bit Kristofferson (Kris gets a shout-out in the track 'America!'. This record, 'Apocalypse,' seemed perfect in 2011 (we nearly had one, literally and figuratively.) There are many great moments on this record -- it feels almost improvised at times. There are some stumbles, to be sure, but that's all made up for by the magical parts.

13. The Belle Brigade – S/T (Reprise)
If you don't like The Belle Brigade, you probably hate music. Yes, they do sound almost too much like Fleetwood Mac. But we don't have a Fleetwood Mac anymore, and I liked Fleetwood Mac. And these songs, Mac-esque production values aside, are well-crafted pop songs. The Belle Brigade are somewhat of a more accessible, more polished New Pornographers. Is that such a bad thing?

14. Wilco – The Whole Love (dBpm/Anti-)
Okay, so this is not 'Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.' It's probably not as good as 'A Ghost Is Born' or 'Sky Blue Sky' (Hey! I like that record. A lot.). Call me a sucker, but I like Wilco records, and a mediocre Wilco record is usually still pretty great. One of the interesting things about scrobbling your music (for the uninitiated, this is automatically feeding your listens to online services such as Last.fm), is you sometimes notice that you actually listened to a record more in a year than you thought. One of my most important criteria for grading a record is how much I enjoyed listening to it. By the look of my scrobbles, this record is more enjoyable than I think it is.

15. Radiohead – The King Of Limbs (TBD)
Sure, sure, it was a weird record that seemed kind of incomplete (was there a second half somwhere?), but it's Radiohead. Sometimes I think people don't give them enough credit because they expect too much. If a new band had put out The King Of Limbs and Radiohead didn't exist in our universe, this record would have made many more year-end lists.

Runners-Up:
Beastie Boys – Hot Sauce Committee Pt. II (Capitol)
Stephen Malkmus – Mirror Traffic (Matador)
Gillian Welch – Harrow & The Harvest (Acony)
TV On The Radio – Nine Types Of Light (Interscope)
Luup – Meadow Rituals (Experimedia)
Bon Iver – S/T (Jagjaguwar)
Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues (Sub Pop)
The Roots – Undun (Def Jam)
Pistol Annies – Hell On Heels (Sony Nashville)
Parts & Labor – Constant Future (Jagjaguwar)
St. Vincent – Strange Mercy (4AD)

Sunshine Jen: The Rich Smell

It’s warmer than the usual warm in LA.

Yesterday, as I was walking and reminding myself that it was January, I cut through the parking lot behind Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills and almost got run over by white range rover valet-parking.

This near death experience would not be so unusual except that the range rover smelled like perfume. Yes, perfume. The smell didn’t come from the lady in the range rover. All the windows were rolled up, and the a/c was on. It was warm after all.

I walked away slightly amused. All these years in LA, I thought I had smelled it all, but I had never smelled a metal automobile reeking of perfume. In fact, most cars don’t give off strange smells.

Then, I realized that the rich (or those who drive range rovers and valet-park at Saks) must have terrible auto odor. It must be an awful problem if they have to use so much perfume. I wonder if range rovers come in a variety of fragrances.

The Wrong Squid: First Shitty Poem of 2011!

A Cambridge Man Purse
In a 10, or even 9, point
handwritten font
The grown-ass man's bag
Quietly requests that
I fuck
the rules