13. When people decide that crossing ethnic boundaries for the sake of a funny costume is a good idea.
12. Loose zoo creatures.
11. Lutheran Ninjas
10. AM radio in the A.M. Too spooky.
9. Deer hunters who use dogs.
8. Putting Texas Pete in my coffee....I mean c'mon guys, you knew I was already having a rough day.
7. Halloween themed beer. Please don't decorate the label on my bottle. The stuff's expensive enough as it is.
6. Leaving your pumpkin out until Christmas Eve. Speaking from experience, when discarding, use a shovel and do it at night.
5. Real ass witches. Just knowing that I could be turned into a newt totally messes with my head.
4. Credit card checks sent in the mail without me requesting them. Do you remember 1991? I had more debt than Mexico.
3. Dude. Ghosts are real as shit. Just last night one drank a third of my fifth of Maker's Mark and then hit me in the head with a hammer.
2. Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards' freaky ass Moonie stare.
1. The twenty six year old Trick or Treater that told me my gutters needed to be cleaned out last year. I saw him at my barber shop last Saturday and he was picking his nose while he hid behind a Newsweek magazine.
