honky cracker: Confessions of a Half-Hour Lunch
1:00 PM
Ponder getting chips. Decide to read through McSweeneys instead.

1:06 PM
Think about how pretty and funny Couch Girl is. Wonder why she won't go out with me.

1:08 PM
Devise a plan to write and co-star in a movie alongside the Gyllenhaal siblings, with the intention of dating Maggie.

1:11 PM
Once again ponder getting chips. Decide to go for a smoke break instead.

1:13 PM
Realize that Couch Girl is a stupid dork and I am cooler than crap.

1:17 PM
Laugh at how similar the word "theses" is to "feces".

1:21 PM
Movie Script rejected by Miramax.

1:21:25 PM
Me rejected by Maggie Gyllenhaal.

1:23 PM
Wash hands.

1:24 PM
Stare at cut on my hand.

1:27 PM
Type this up.

1:29 PM
Regret not getting chips half an hour ago.

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an unsolicited saturday night e-mail to a dear, dear friend				the honky cracker film festival 2003

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