The greatest is when I saddle up to a stall, and I think I'm the only one in the men's room - and then PFFFT! Somebody hiding in one of the stalls rips a big ass fart.
The Fart: You Don't See it Coming.
Seriously. Makes me lose my shit.
That happened today. Oh man. I lost it. And you know what happens when you start laughing hysterically while you pee? That's right. Pee be flyin' over hill and dale. Poor Dale.
For a long time, I was deeply afraid of urinals. One time, as a young child, I was peeing in a urinal when I started to feel a little artsy. I thought "hmm... why don't I spray this in a little pattern all over the urinal wall". And for a coupla seconds, all was good. I was feelin' the flow. But just as I was getting' all Jackson Pollock with my pee-pee - WHAM! Pee be nailin' me in the face.
I guess I had it coming. You know, taunting the urinal, dissin' it like that. You gotta respect the pee, man. You gotta respect the pee.
