You pooed all over the back end of the toilet bowl.
You know what I'm talkin' about. The upper regions. Under the lip of the bowl.
You couldn't just plop on down in the water like any normal defecator would do, could you? No. You had to Splatter-Splatter-Pitter-Patter and leave the scene of the crime. The dump-and-run. Leavin' the evidence behind to crust.
And now everyone saw me walk in to the bathroom. You know what that means. Everyone's gonna see me walk outta there and think that I was the one who pooed . Only it wasn't me. I didn't poo. Youpooed.
So now you know what I'm gonna have to do?
I'm gonna have to pee the poo off the toilet bowl. That way, no one will ever know what you did.
Sure, I'll cover for you. But it's not because I love you. Oh no. The time for that has come and gone, my friend. It's because I wanna save my own ass. Cuz I can't be The Poo Guy. I won't be The Poo Guy.
And they'll never know. They'll never know that you're a sloppy defecator. They'll never know that I peed your poo off the toilet bowl. They'll just go on, living their happy little lives, blissfully unaware of the danger that once threatened their very existence. Because I peed the poo off the back of the toilet.
So thank you, Mr. Peein' the Poo off the Back of the Toilet Guy.
