honky cracker: Game Shows Touch Our Lives A few months ago, John Darnielle (The Mountain Goats) played three shows over a weekend here in New York, and I went to two of them.
Now, I love the Mountain Goats and Darnielle's music. Hell, I've been listening to Tallahassee on average of about three times a day over the past month or so. But that Monday, I remember going to work and being bummed out. Not because I wasn't going to hear any Mountain Goats songs, but because John Darnielle wasn't going to talk to me that day.
Most of his songs deal with a pretty heavy subject matter, but he introduces each song almost as if he's setting up a joke. Then he hits you with the punch line, and you laugh, but not because it's funny. You laugh because it's better than funny.
A good case in point is this. Please watch it if you get a chance. I love that guy.
I think I'm in love with my overnight nurse from the ER. I don't remember much from that night, but I do remember that I was on my game for a guy whose head was busted open. I think the conversation went something like this.
Me: I gotta go to the bathroom. Can you help me? Nursy Luci: Sure. I'll get you a bedpan. Me: NO! Not "that kind of bathroom". I just wanna pee. Can you walk me to the men's room? Nursy Luci: You're not getting out of bed. But here's a bottle, and let me give you a bedpan. Me: I don't need a bedpan, and I'm not wearing any underwear. Nursy Luci: I've seen worse and I've smelled everything you can imagine Me: Well I don't care what you see, though I'm warning you, I was just hit by a car and it's not as impressive as I'd like it to be. And there's no way I'm pooping in front of you. Nursy Luci: Like I said I've seen worse and I've smelled everything you can imagine. Me: No you haven't. You have no idea what I've been building up in here. Tom Waits: What's he building in there? Me: Hey, did you just see Tom Waits over there? Nursy Luci: Yeah, but I wasn't going to say anything. He comes in here to make visits from time to time. He's like the Santa Claus of emergency rooms. Now I'm going to take your temperature. Me: I don't suppose there's any food around here. Nursy Luci: I can get something from the vending machine. Do you want something? Me: Well, I'd like more narcotics and some M&Ms, please. Nursy: Luci: Ha. You're funny. I better check with Tom. Me: He's still here? Nursy Luci: (leaving the room) Yeah, he's over there in the corner, speaking in tongues and preaching The Gospel According to El Debarge. I'll be back. Me: My wallet's in my pants over there. Just take some money out of it. Nursy Luci: Don't worry about it. It's on me.
Minutes later, she returns with some M&Ms I am half asleep.
Nursy Luci: They didn't have Peanut. Me: That's OK. I didn't want Peanut. Nursy Luci: Eat your damn candy. Me: Is it okay if I sleep? Nursy Luci: Doesn't bother me at all. Me: No, I mean is it okay if I sleep? I'm worried I might have a concussion. Nursy Luci: Oh, you're way past concussion. Me: Damn. Nursy Luci: Yes, it's okay to sleep. Me: Good, 'cuz I'm going to. Nursy Luci: All right then. Me: Oh, I filled the pee bottle while you were gone. Can you empty it for me? Nursy Luci: I'd be thrilled. Me: Hey wait! Nursy Luci: Hey what? Me: There's a good chance that you'll have left before I wake up. Can you do me a favor. Nursy Luci: What now? Me: Can you wake me up before you leave? I want to say goodbye to you.
And she did. That's the thing. It's her job to take care of patients and take their temperature and make sure they're aware and stuff. But she didn't have to wake me up so I could say goodbye. She wasn't on the clock for that.
