Post-Modern Drunk: Dog of Damocles
So I've been stuck in Texas, staying at my girlfriend's family house, for an extra week, which would be nice except the actual family had a scheduled vacation that they went away on when we were supposed to come back, so it's just been the girlfriend and I. Which I'm not complaining about. It's been a staycation, except not at our place. We've been watching her sister's dog, which it turns out suffers from seizures every couple of months. The last seizure he had was five weeks ago, so we should be safe.

So. A night of bad sleep--woke up early, checked my email, and discovered that a well-liked coworker of mine (not one that I know well, but well enough, and a good friend of friends of mine at work) had had an aneuyrism the other night, and was, well, not dead, but they were keeping him alive because he was an organ donor so they could get the organs they need.

The Facebook pages of my coworkers are filled with, "He's in a better place now," and "He's with Jesus," and such, and I don't begrudge them their comfort, but I got all selfish and started to wonder if I had died two years ago, they would have said the same thing. And of course they would have, because these things are about the person saying it, and not about me being an atheist and I found myself petulantly wanting to defend David-as-myself and say, "If I go, I'm not going to a better place, so please refrain from saying so."

I am a shitty person when I wake up in the morning, and I feel terrible about it.

I went back to bed after that.

I slept for awhile longer, and woke up to feel the dog laying down on my shoulder. And then shuddering. Then vibrating like my old cat did when she had a hairball. And we realized what was happening.

It is a terrible feeling, pushing a scared dog having a seizure away from you so you don't get puked and shit and pissed on. The dog stumbled away, out the door, and then tumbled down the stairs, and then lay at the bottom of the stairs, in full seizure mode, for what felt like an hour but was probably fifteen seconds.

I miss my cat, and I just want to go home. It's been a long vacation.

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