Post-Modern Drunk: You Won't Believe What the New Ghostbusters Is Doing to Your Childhood Memories
It may seem heated when man-children on Reddit complain about the female reboot of Ghostbusters "ruining their childhood," and destroying their beloved movie franchise. After all, the classic Ghostbusters and the less-than-classic sequel still exist. Paul Feig didn't break into our houses and steal our limited edition DVD copies of the movies, or snap them in front of us. You can still watch the movies.

However, as much as it pains me to say it, the redditors are right. Paul Feig is, in a sense, ruining our childhood memories. But you were doing so yourself, every time you remembered them anyway.

This is because our old notion of memories as a recording we can re-experience and watch passively is incorrect. Every time we access our memories, we rewrite them. It is a survival mechanism: every time we remember something, the memory is rewritten again, incorporating knowledge we've acquired in the meantime. This is unavoidable; it is how we learn and grow.

Yes. As much as it seems impossible, even bros sometimes learn and grow.

Anything new that reminds us of our old memories, anything that forces us to remember them--say, for instance, a new movie that reminds us of our old favorite movie--progressively ruins those old existing memories by replacing them with new versions of them, which will involuntarily incorporate the fact that Ghostbusters can now also be women.

Think about the first time you saw Ghostbusters. Remember how much you enjoyed it, how much you wanted to be Venkman but rather suspected you were more of a Ray or Egon at best. Merely by accessing this memory at this moment, you risk the fact that you're also not a Holtzmann further decimating your childish misguided conception of yourself.

So yes, the hyperbole was right. The new Ghostbusters reboot is ruining you childhood memories by forcing you to form new, more maturely articulated and complicated versions of your old memories. And it will do this whether you see the movie or not. The female reboot is going to steal your childhood innocence and stupidity whether you like it or not.

Welcome to adulthood. Try not to kick and scream about it so much, you grown up manbaby.

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