Post-Modern Drunk: Notes from My New Place
The question has been asked, "Where the hell have you been???" Which is a valid question, I guess, but the more meaningful question is "Where are you now?"

Still, the terms of my treatment don't allow me to answer that with any precision. I can say that I've moved out of the Greenpoint/Williamsburg hipster hideaway, and am now in good hands. The house I now reside in is run by a very nice lady who takes excellent care of me, and the terms of my stay there are not too onerous.

I do occasionally miss having access to the Internet, and also access to scissors and razors, but I am adapting quickly to the new situation--even better than I expected. I even look forward to the days when I will once again be allowed a belt and my shoelaces again.

As part of the agreement made when I entered the program here, you can even expect to hear from me over the next weeks and months, as soon as I complete the list of items I need to apologize and atone for. Think of it as My Name Is Earl, which is apparently a TV show. I look forward to watching it someday.

Anyway, I'm writing my atonement list, and getting the phone calls started; it is slow going as I have not yet adapted to writing in crayon and am only allowed fifteen minutes per evening to use the phone--some of these calls last hours, and thus need to be broken out over the course of a week or more.

Still, this is just a note to say that I haven't forgotten about you, and I look forward to talking more extensively about the damage I've done in your life. I must sign off now--they say I am getting worked up and need to put on "the coat that makes you hug yourself" again. They promise me they'll post this sometime in the next few days, as long as it doesn't violate the [MESSAGE REDACTED] of our agreement.

Thanks so much.

-Stu

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