Post-Modern Drunk: My Time in the Hospital: Modesty
While in the hospital, I lost a lot of my body inhibitions by necessity. When you pee in a bottle, shit in a pan, and have to be cleaned up by someone who's name you rarely remember, body inhibitions aren't always even an option.

But when it comes to friends and coworkers, it's more difficult. I spent my time in the hospital wearing a gown that doesn't leave much to the imagination: it ends mid-thigh, if pulled all the way down, and its default way to be worn is open to the back. So I ran the risk of flashing people coming from the south if I raised my legs or moved them in almost any fashion--which I was told by my doctors to do as much as possible to get excercise.

So I was constantly running the risk of putting someone in an awkward position. I mean, I have to work or party with these people, and I don't want to turn at any moment and see that look in one of their eyes: the look that says, "I"ve seen your balls. I didn't try to, but I've seen them and I can't unsee the. And man, they didn't look very good."

Which is true. I've been sick, and all parts of me have suffered in various ways. I'm at least as distraught about it as you are.

Keeping my visitors from seeing my genitals was really one of my highest priorities, hospital-wise. It was right up there with getting better and getting out of the hospital. I did alright most of the way, but I had to remain forever vigilant. It could only have taken a moment to give someone a view that would stick with both of us a lifetime.

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