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god it's really challenging to imagine going on onlyfans once they allow you to (it takes a hecka lot to be verified), and as much as I'm all for honest transactions, it's mostly the bullies that terrify me. Once you know they exist, you can't unknow it. Once you've been hit, you will never again forget the hit.
For me, I replay it a lot. selling myself short
a lot. whispers all the time of 'you deserved it.'
but I
did
just yesterday have a sliver of light enter this dark hovel
feb 11
a fucking hard day
and around 3pm, a shaft of light due to the rotation and tilt of the earth, hit my chest. it was all I could do
when you've been in dark so long
it's something
(and yes, I do mean literal light - I think the only week it was sunny here in the afternoons was the week I viewed it in July...)
the money.
I can't stop thinking of
what it
what if
'you shoulda '
and only fans gets me away from trader joes... on Sundays to even chip away at it all and sometimes I just wish I could zero out the debt to myself yet sometimes I just feel so
internal
feedback
loop
and all the hidden
never exposed.
but I did laugh the other day and that's the thing that drug me here. time plus tragedy.
it made me Demi-smile when I realized that the last interaction we had had was having Andrea shirk helping clean the bathroom....
wan ha
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