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Comparing this to twelve months ago... this was the tick-tock before the bomb went off. I can't even imagine what I felt beyond "get through school" and "how weird life is with in the post-COVID"... and it felt like forever plus forever equals until death do us part.
now, I have a wallpaper on the iMac I bought myself in a frenzied graduation self-present (Greece, you will have to wait). So much of what my mantra was in the beginning was "YOU think I'm trash. I am gold too". I was so bloody angry. so bloody alone. like before, I was alienated harshly and suddenly by a dear amazing human friend who moved to the east coast hours after kissing my first husband. it was so the slap of water on my daze. even though I'm technically closer to it than you likely currently are, I am so extremely grateful to be done with the lost angels daze. having grief and cruelty and directionless poison on speed dial...
if you asked me the thing I miss the most, it would be the talking.
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