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Back from the great tour of the South.
While I was leaving Venice in a Passenger Van with just me, me, me in attendence, I was awash at the beauty of my chosen city.
When I arrived in Atlanta at 5am, I was once again delighted with the familiarity of the Atlanta airport. The moving sidewalks are a personal pleasure of mine.
I must have talked about five thousand hours in a row. Most of the questions were concerning what I would do in my life. This time, instead of answering "mark thinks" - I answered "my therapist says"... So, I'm still no better at giving my own thoughts and opinions unadulterated voice.
Beloved Wilmington was awash in smugginess.
I had one day to myself (it was a mother/daughter trip) in which to catch up with old friends and do what I wanted. As I had not informed anyone of my arrival, it should have come as faint surprise that there was not a welcoming committee.
I caught up with several of my old haunts - the alleys, the convenience store, that special spot where I sit and watch the river, the library, but I couldn't bring myself to pop into the really haunted places, and I was too shy to call around to all of my friends. My trust that a few well-placed phonecalls would garner me a well-remembered cookout were in vain. I was left on my own to feel nothing or something or some such. I saw a movie by myself and drove around some more and left a note at my oldest friend's house (as I did not have his number), and I left the next day.
I felt lost and homeless and vacant and strange. I could barely speak to my mother after I listened to the 3rd-hand information that my ex-lover was to have a child. I couldn't tell my mother the news as I had claimed that I had visited said friend the night before and already reported on the events (total lies constructed so that I would not have had to come 'home' and interrupted her visit with my ex-mother in law)...
Gardenias, azaleas, tons of other flowers - jasmine. It was very pleasant and a bit too familiar the incessant walking I did.
Summation: I enjoy being alone. Boiled peanuts are excellent.
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