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I won't do this justice, and it's too near and strange to write a bunch on lovely Mark - my only husband- ; however, he's next in line. I do love a theme.
What can I say, I saw him from afar and knew/felt that this man was meant for me. It was so strange to me that he was married (to the beautiful and accomplished Chris). I wasn't devastated - just confusted. Four years later, I was married to him. This re-awoke the "shinning" that has thus far plagued my silly innocuous and devastating-to-others love life.
I loved him and obviously thought it would last forever, and it turned into a big failure. A hugemongous failure (see a million previous words).
Mark is amazing. He's my best friend. I live in terror that the same thing that happened with Chuck will happen with Mark: he gets a girlfriend, and I'm persona non grata. Everyone makes choices, and I'm open to what happens. I want him to be happy. I - more than 50% of the world - know the heart of a woman, and I have no idea how secure I would be with a very close ex-wife in the picture.
Few, "get me". Mark "gets me". We have a trillion inside jokes and phrases. He is actually better friends with my friends than I am now. Go figure. For the longest time, Mark was my shield and my haven. He was stable and I was "Crazy Kristen" to the idiots. I didn't mind. I am and was rather intense. Usually, I am unerring in my selection of people to be in my inner circle. Oh how arrogant she is! Isn't this about Mark, and here she is going on about herself. Mark would understand. He always cited my faults. I used to believe him unerringly. Now, I am growner and aloner.
This wonderful man loved me and protected me and made me who I am today (whomever that is). I always say about him that only a psychokiller wouldn't like him. I've never met anyone who didn't like him. He has many best friends.
He's quite a more complex character than many of you realize. I was privileged to be in this inner circle of his. He has often said that he was never more vulnerable and revealing than he was with me. I hope I have not clobbered that, and in fact, I feel I have not. Mark is insecure and thinks that he's not nearly as intelligent and "special" as I am. Rubbish. He's just not flamboyant or squeaky or the victim. He has always been the nuts and bolts. He's a craftsman who thinks he's "not all that" despite the many awards and accolades he's received. He has many friends that always desire his company, and yet he often bemusedly says "it's so strange that I prefer to be with YOU over anyone else". Now that the pressure is off to be "the wife", I rather feel the same.
The vacations to the caribbean, colorado, his funny ha-ha family, new york living, ten years, las vegas, the grand canyon, london...
ahhhh. I end now because I do. Long live friendship and change and growth and Mark.
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