Now, I know that there are a lot of you lovely ladies out there who really, REALLY wanna get with the Honky Cracker, but for whatever reason (distance, time, fear of lack-of-commitment) simply cannot.
Ladies, you prayers have been answered. Just plug in your USB vibrator, settle in with this post, and it's just like makin' it with the HC. Aw yeah.
I give you the Honkycracker-USB Vibrator interface.
Awww yeah. I like whiskey. Do you like whiskey? Ohhh, it' soooo good. Mmm.... Bourbon. It's so smoky. And sweet. Like molasses and charcoal. Sticky, sticky sweeeet molasses... mmmm... yeah. That's good. You like molasses, baby? Yeah, I thought so. Right there, baby... Word. Wanna try some Scotch? We like that too. Just taste that Oak casking. Taste the Oak casking. You like how it tastes? Baby likes the Oak. Mmm... yeah...
And that smoking ban... it sucks, huh? Oh yeah, it sucks! How much does it suck? No, baby. You tell me. How much does it suck? Why don't you show me how much it sucks?
Now just picture big ol' Curt Schilling standing on the mound for the Red Sox. Look at him. He's huge, isn't he darlin'? You bet he's huge. He's throwin' that 98 mile-per-hour heat for the Hometown Team now. I get all excited thinking about it. Bringin' that shiny, gold World Series Championship home to papa. And now A-Rod's gonna join' in. You like A-Rod? Who doesn't like A-Rod. I got an A-Rod for ya, and he's bringin' the Latino Heat. Oh yeah. Bring it home to papa. Nice and slow, over the course of a 162 game season. Yeaaah.
I'm a computer. Stop all the downloadin'! No, wait. Don't. Don't stop the downloadin'! Please! More downloadin'! Help computer!
That's all I got for now. After all, this is just a lunch-break quickie.
