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Pony: Orlando Bloom
1.29.2004




I don't get it. What is most amazing is that the celebrity press svengalis have created a lust-driven fanbase for him.

With his pseudo-sexy arch eyebrow raises and his peachfuzz moustache, I kind of feel like I am eleven, pouring through Tiger Beat at the 7-11 for pictures of River Phoenix and coming up with yet another centrefold of Menudo.

Come think of it, Orlando Bloom looks a member of Menudo. Outift him with mesh tank top and karate-kid style bandana and omigod, I am so old.


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