Obviously, the Jaws type attack where you first think your leg is caught on something but then realize a Great White has snapped it off.
As well as the variation on that where you're at the Aquarium looking at the sharks circling around in the shark tank and a crazy person grabs you and drags you to the top and throws you in.
alligators, being covered by lava from an exploding volcano, electrocution on the third rail.
death near the top of Mt. Everest, especially the moment when the storm moves in and you hunker down in your tent waiting to get sleepy.
anything that involves getting body parts caught in things- farm machinery, factory work.
being blown up. Being town apart by explosives at the office or your friend's wedding.
All bad ways to go.
But another bad way, one I had not considered until recently is being beaten to death.
Add that to the list of ways I would prefer not to be killed.
death by beating
At first this one doesn't seem so dramatic. You'd never see James Bond being threatened with this- although it could involve it's own type of suspense. It would take a while and you'd wonder with each blow whether or not you could take another. But how to present that? So much easier to do the tick, tick, tick- any second now you'll be dropped in the shark tank!
On TV you see people being hit. And you assume they are hit hard. That's kind of the point. The punches are stylish and intentional. The person hitting appears to know what he is doing and the person hit falls down or back, is knocked unconscious or at the very least stunned and unable to coordinate any counter swings at which point the beating stops.
Occasionally you'll see a good guy tied to a chair with his hands behind his back and a bad guy with brass knuckles ready to "give him the business". The Bruce Willis type gets punched and a trickle of blood appears at the corner of his mouth. This is very dramatic. Bruce glowers at his assailant. We know Bruce can take it. And then he either gets loose or is let loose and he's slugging them back in a six to one fistfight, he lets it fly. The one who made his lip bleed and the one who ordered the punch that lead to the bleeding lip, they'll get it the worst- but rarely does it go on too long because Bruce will need to jump out a window and swing off the bottom of a helicopter for a while.
In the news lately we've heard about a 70 year old women saddled up and ridden like a donkey. We're hearing about broomsticks shoved up people's asses. Small children are shot in the head or literally blown to pieces.
And then in between all that there are the beating deaths- "Blunt force trauma". ("Which would suggest homicide but not necessarily murder").
In light of all the other really horrible ways people are being abused, mutilated, killed it's easy to overlook how real life horrible that would be.
Really, compared to being stripped naked and threatened by attack dogs, beatings sound almost "quaint", a "non-story" story.
But think about it. Really. I'm asking you to.
Ever been hit? (you can count accidents as well as on purpose). Ever been hit by someone who knows how to hit? (as opposed to goofball slappy/ shoving type things).
Ever been hit by someone who did not intend to merely intimidate you or get you to back down or make you shut up or prove who was boss- but instead set out to hurt you as much as humanly possible?
Ever been in a car wreck? Ever been in a car when the driver had to stop suddenly and your head hit the windshield?
Ever fall off your bike and hit the ground so hard that for a single, stunned moment you were convinced the ground was some malevolent force acting on free will and it had chosen to jump up and slam in to you?
I don't know where I'm going with this- but goddamn this has been a bad weekend for the world. I want to cry, I want to run. I want to move somewhere far away. I don't know what to do. It is just so f'ing awful. I'm heartbroken and I'm afraid. And I'm willing to give up blame and justice and rage and calling the liars out and exposing them as liars if they would just please, please, please make it stop.
