Post-Modern Drunk: The Ultimate Wallet
 I didn' really have a Constanza-wallet--a back-killing stack of paper and detritus that I was carrying around, making me sit crooked. But when we got caught in a torrential rainstorm on the last day of the 180 bike trek--60 miles in the rain--and my cheap street fair wallet was ruined, I decided to replace it with something slimmed down. I'd already converted over to a hipster PDA to handle all my notes and calendars and things like that (which thankfully survived the deluge), so I only need a wallet for money, licenses, and plastic. Everything else is superfluous. 

Courtesy of Lifehacker, I found it. I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams, actually. They pointed me towards the All-Ett, the perfect wallet with the lamest name. The All-Ett comes in a bunch of different sizes, from executive billfold sized to almost non-existent, with he idea that you'd choose yours based on the number of credit cards/business cards you need to carry (and the size of your cash, if you're an international traveler. 50 euro notes are pretty big).

There are a number of reasons why the All-Et is the coolest wallet around, so it's hard to know where to start. I'll begin at the most office. The All-Ett isn't leather, or pleather, or plastic, or duct tape (the other competitor for coolest wallet). It's made of spinnaker cloth, essentially the material used to make sails. It's got a slight zip to it at first when you start using it, but that fades quickly. the material is ultra-thin, light, durable, and water-resistant. I haven't tried to rip it or anything, but it feels very sturdy.

The second cool element for the All-Ett is that they've gotten rid of individual pockets for each credit card and license and such. Each pocket on a traditional wallet adds a fold of leather, and consequently, bulk. So there are two slots for all your cards, which you stack. You put your most important cards on top, your second most on bottom, and as long as you remember that your license is on the bottom of the right stack and your medical insurance card is on the bottom of the left, you can pretty much automatically grab whatever you need pretty quickly (on the larger executive version of this, you have two additional slots that you'd have to remember--I honestly don't know why anyone would choose the double-sized version, though).

I'm using the "European" version of the wallet. I don't know why they named it that--there's an "International Version" that's Euro sized, but the European version is definitely dollar sized, and perfect. Even with 15 bills in it, along with all my credit cards and licenses, it's still thinner than my old ruined wallet when it's empty, and only a little thicker than my hipster PDA. And you can't see it, since I need it to take the photo, but it's almost exactly the width of my iPhone.



As you can see there in the middle, the wallet is tiny. It's roughly the same width as the stack of 9 Apple Gift cards that you magnificent bastards got me. In fact, this demonstrates the only drawback of the wallet. When people do something so awesome and cool and touching, there's nowhere in the wallet to put such a bounty. I'm just going to have to carry them lose (well, with a binder clip. What type of geek would I be without a binder clip?) until I get a chance to take advantage of your wonderful gifts.

Honestly, I love this wallet. I keep taking it out of my pocket and fiddling with it. That may just be because I have a lot of free time these days, and I'm obsessed with my money situation, but still, for less than $20, you can't get a cooler wallet.

---

«« (back)				(forward) »»
shot in the face and you‘re to blame				walk away price

---