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post #499
bio: rich

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Sharks live in the ocean

Beach Day
Today we went to the beach. Cocoa beach.
It was fine.
A little sea-weedy.
(Eric (B): you would of hated it).

Flordia is all a gas about the poor girl who was chomped on the leg by a shark and subsequently died. That's all sad and shit.
When we got back from the beach, I was watching the "TV" as Mrs. Robot showered (it's a fancy glass shower stall (oh yea)).
On MSNBC, CNN, and Fox "News" they were discussing the shark attack. Their reports were all so stupid.

[Transcript Start: June 26, 2005]

News Guy: Here with us is Oceanographer Joe Smith. Thank you for joining us Joe. Now, what can you tell us about this tragic shark attack that happened yesterday off the coast of Florida?

Oceanographer Guy: Yes, thanks for having me. What we know right now is that the young girl was swimming in the ocean and was attacked by a shark.

NG: Do you or other officials have any idea of what kind of shark it was, and maybe why it attacked this girl?

OG: At this time we believe it was a bull shark. Bull sharks are very common in this part of the ocean - which was where the girl was swimming - the ocean that is. The ocean is the most common area for shark attacks.

NG: Why would a bull shark attack a human?

OG: Bull sharks, like many creatures who live in the ocean, must eat to survive. And they eat things primarily in the ocean. The same ocean where they also live and feed.

NG: That's tragic.

OG: True, especially for the girl who was in the ocean, which is where sharks normally live and, as we saw yesterday, eat.

NG: The family says that there were no warnings that there were sharks in the area - especially in the very deep water the girl was in.

OG: That is true - especially since sharks, which live in the ocean, have been known to eat things in deep water and sometimes in shallow water - these various depths of water are what we in the Oceanography trade call "the ocean" - coincidentally the same place where sharks live and as we saw yesterday, where they eat.

NG: County officials closed the beach for 24 hours after the attack yesterday. Nearby resort owners tell us that this area has never had a reported shark attack. Is this the proper path of action for local officials to take after a shark assault?

OG: It is. I wish every issue in our lives was as easy as this - avoiding shark attacks is a black and white issue. Sharks, unlike humans, live in the ocean. By staying out of the ocean, you greatly decrease your chance of getting bit or eaten by a shark in the ocean - which is where sharks primarily feed and live.

one of the primary lessons of surfing is "the ocean is not your world". Alas...still sad about that attack.
»eve ||  6/27/2005 ||  3:28:56 AM
"The ocean is the most common area for shark attacks."

This is untrue. I was attacked by a Shark on the West Side.
»jet ||  6/27/2005 ||  8:43:14 AM
i heart sharks
»binx ||  6/27/2005 ||  10:46:43 AM
you say they live IN the ocean? fascinating...
»lisa ||  6/27/2005 ||  11:29:39 AM
this is why i always carry extra ham sandwiches with me when i surf or swim in the ocean, where sharks live and eat. i have found that they prefer ham sandwiches instead of me.
»mina ||  6/27/2005 ||  1:47:54 PM
Oh god...Christopher Buckley couldn't write more absurd news-wonk dialogue...
»ev ||  6/27/2005 ||  7:34:52 PM
you made me laugh on land where humans live and eat, not the ocean because that is where sharks laugh, live and eat
»k ||  6/27/2005 ||  9:17:54 PM
When i was in Iraq...actually, I can't make any of my iraq stories fit into this category...oh well...Let me know when you say something that I can make an "When I was in Iraq" comment about... or if we are discussing Matt Johnson's balls...thanks
»pat ||  6/27/2005 ||  9:28:27 PM
do sharks live and eat in iraq, or in iraq's waters, where sharks normally live and eat... not in iraq per se, but in the water that is just off shore from iraq, or kuwait?
»dred pirate davey ||  6/27/2005 ||  10:32:26 PM
I'd like to eat your ham sandwhich
»shark ||  6/27/2005 ||  10:53:41 PM
Heard on local Boston news this morning there was a second shark attack many miles away from the other one...they were saying it may have been the same shark....because we all know only one shark lives and eats in the ocean
»binx ||  6/28/2005 ||  12:14:33 PM
That is very true, sharks do live AND eat in the ocean, because that's where they live. We liveo n the land, so we eat on the land, but sometimes, we eat in the ocean...unlike sharks, who only eat in the ocean.

Iraq has a very small coast on teh perian gulf... so very few, if any, sharks live and eat in the waters around Iraq.
»pat ||  6/28/2005 ||  9:16:13 PM

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