The inner Stu in me won't shut up I think everyone has a CannonballRun character they resemble in several ways. Sometimes I feel just like "Subaru Driver Jackie Chan" flying through the world in a geeked out car yelling at my passengers in gibberish that's meant to be Japanese (even though, he's from Hong Kong).
Other days I feel like Roger Moore telling people that I'm Roger Moore and they don't believe me even when I look like Roger Moore - does that ever happen to you?
Then there are the days where you just want to crash your truck into a hotel and go looking for hookers.
Dear girl in front of me at choppy salad place I'm sorry, but I am the most judgmental person sometimes. It's just my thing. I judge food, shoes, and value systems primarily - so you can understand why I made that snarky little snort when you got your salad.
Iceberg lettuce Cheddar cheese Ranch dressing
This is what makes me sad: 1. In your mind, are you thinking, "Today I'll be good and have a salad"? Iceberg lettuce has the same amount of nutrients as cardboard. Basically you had a cardboard and cheese salad.
2. You paid $9 for the salad and a stinky sweet Snapple.
3. This is the choppy chop chop salad place. You can have anything on your salad - in fact you get four items standard. Yet you just took one item (the cheese). Carrots? Those are good, right? Celery? Tomato? Peanuts?
Hispanic Lunch! The Weather Service in Maine has some of the most unintentionally hilarious photographs on their Flickr site... such as: Hispanic Lunch! The PowerPoint Presentation Series Kudos to Mrs. Robot who came across these last night.
No comprehending: Me These are things I don't really understand
1. Cruise ships Actually, I can understand the point of basically hanging out in a floating mall/hotel for a week in a tropical setting while eating and drinking to my heart's desire. I just came across someone's honeymoon photo gallery and looking at the photos of their cruise made a part deep inside of me hurt. There's something so... something about it all.
2. Why did you post that photo? In regards to this same photo album, the guy posted a lot of photos of his spouse that made me wonder what the hell he was thinking. Nothing against his spouse, but they were just really really bad photos of her. She'd have her eyes half open or be in mid-sneeze or just looked bored and/or pissed, yet he included them in the photo album.
3. I own a lot of DVDs This morning I was looking at a BestBuy/CircuitCity/TV-World circular junk-mail thing that was in the paper today and they had all these movies listed that were on sale for my holiday shopping perusal and it got me thinking, "Who's buying all this shit?" Then I started thinking about a few people I've known over the years who have this pride thing about how many DVDs they own - "I got 5,000 DVDs in my collection.. How many you got?" Then I had some coffee. Oh, but then I was thinking that liking movies is a fine hobby, but when you are buying almost every dang DVD that comes out your standards have to start sagging soon. "Ah! Maid in Manhattan! The Criterion Edition!" Do these people watch all these DVDs?
4. TV on my phone It's a cute idea, but I laugh and then cry when I realize that the majority of the content is movie trailers and TV previews - i.e. commercials - that you have to pay to see. On your phone. Awesome! This brings up another point: Yea, TV is great, but our damn phones still pretty much suck for all those normal activities like "talking" and "synching contacts".
America's motto: IN RETARDED ASS CELL PHONES WE TRUST
5. TV on my iPod See, I am missing something with this whole 3inch TV screen watching activity.
Mad Dog: Hey, you the one running this fleabag? Desk Clerk: Huh? Mad Dog: Where the hookers? Desk Clerk: What? Mad Dog: Hookers, man! Where the hookers?
I think everyone has a Cannonball Run character they resemble in several ways.
