tim!: Exciting Contest 2002 I have decided to have a contest. Contests are fun, and they get people of like interests to rally around a central theme, which is always a good idea.
A little background: I am getting paid $125 from an article I wrote for a local paper.
Contest Rules:
1. Submit an idea for the purchase of an item, the execution of an act, or the procurement of an ideal - the total price of which is not to exceed $125.
2. Also submit details on how much each item will cost, so the account people will be able to add it all together.
3. Be specific to the point of excruciation. In other words, if you want me to pick up a hooker with the money, don't just say pick up a hooker - say, pick up a hooker with three teeth in her mouth on the corner of 9th and Seymour, one that has red shoes and yellow eyes. I don't know, get creative.
4. I reserve the right to veto any ass-insertion ideas. For instance, if your idea is for me to go buy a broom for $123, and then get a $2 tube of KY Jelly, and proceed to lube the broom and insert it into my ass... Well I'm just saying your chances of winning are low. Now if you have other sodomistic ideas in which I am the sadist, then you might have something. Basically if its not fun for me, you lose.
1. Boy winners will receive a photo or other sort of documentation of me with the winning idea. Girl winners will receive pretty much whatever they want.
2. Truth be told, if there are any girls that I am even moderately attracted to, guess what fellas. Second and lower place winners will receive a signed photo of me doing something private in the privacy of my own home. Kind of a 'caught in the act' bit. I will consider nominations in this category.
3. If the girl winner has a prior engagement like a salon appointment or a marriage, then you will get nothing, and another winner will be chosen. Unless the girl is into the occasional, 'What marriage?' scenario, and then you're application will be rocketed to the #1 spot, just for the sheer immorality of it.
Judges:
Matt for his uncompromising ideals.
Rich because it's his site we'll be using, plus he has an imbalanced way of looking at things.
Adina because I like Adina, and she'll help to balance out the aforementioned head cases.
And of course me because it was my idea.
Ok. All entries must be in by April 15, 2002. Good luck.
